Something other than hair hits the cape, and you look down to see one ofyour earrings has been pushed out by your body, the hole completelysealed up. The same happens on your other ear. He starts on the top,using his fingers as a guide, he snips off another inch or so. Thr firstchunk of hair lands on your chest, ripples passing through your body, andyou feel your breasts shrink a little. The next cut does the same, and bythe time the top of your hair is finished, your chest is flat and yourbra is gone. The barber adds the finishing touches, blending andsharpening up the edges. With each adjustment you feel your visiongetting blurrier until he stops and puts down his tools. He squirts alittle gel into his hands and rubs it into the top of your hair,achieving the perfect deliberate messy look.The barber hands you a pair of glasses and you reflexively put them onand look in the mirror for the first time. You see yourself: a teenageboy with short dark hair. You smile and nod, and the. But his heart, his life, was at her feet.A spasm as precise as the clap of a bell went through him. A ping at first, a little sickly, the snap of a slender finger against a testicle, and another, and one more to the other nut, all while he was lost in her and unprepared, then colic and recoil, and the need to crouch, denied. (Paula stood up and thrust her slender arm around Cal's waist. Wouldn't she prefer to watch him crumble, defeated by what for her had involved so little? Instead she braced him with her woman's arm, a thing stronger than his legs, stronger that the griping pain within.) The penis, so durably hard this day, now wilted. Then muffled tears."My darling," Aunt Paula said, "I think I understand. I think I do. But do you know what the very best thing you could do now would be? Shall I tell you? But, Cal my sweetheart, I only want you to do it if you think you can. Aunt Paula isn't requiring it? She's just offering some advice to her brave boy. Do you understand? Only if.
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